Part 2

When I think of love, an image of a black spot in an otherwhise white page pops into my head. And as you feed it false hopes, false expectations it grows. It grows so big that you can't even see the light in things anymore. You can't fight it, no weapon; however strong can defend you from it. Your soul, this is kind of like the white page; it is feed by your heart. But once your heart is BROKEN bit by bit your soul fades. The sun begins to stop shinning, the flowers start to die, clouds cover the full moon. When you look at something that is supposed to make you feel joy, all you feel numbness. You muster what strength you have left in your dying body to BREAK THROUGH the numbness. When you do, for that brief second you feel... Not hope, not even strength, but PAIN. You would think your body would be overwhelmed with; I guess you can call it joy for having OUT SMARTED the darkness, the pain. But your body has officially given up. When you see something you used to think was pretty, you want to cry for it is either too EXPENSIVE or too gorgeous. It isn't right to buy something and but it next to your dying body. COMPANIONSHIP; is it the meire thought that you have someone? Someone to depend on; to lean on when you have issues. We sit around a table playing cards, deciding on each others fate, whatever that truly is. Our cards resemble things about us. But my mind keeps coming back to FAITH. What is it? People say it is what links us to each other. They say when one event happens it may effect someone elses life. A wrong decision can change someones "fate". I can honestly say I don't know what fate is, or love for that matter. W.OW I actually feel something... I think it's, fear. And that actually scares me, that when the numbness subsides, even just for a second, I feel fear. What do I fear?... I can't name them all. I fear opening up to people, I fear they will just let me down like everone else.